So if you haven’t noticed, i don’t really like to post very much. Every few months i get the ambition to write something or post a few pictures… and that is sufficient for me. Whats worse is that my motivation usually comes from a desire to express my frustration with the areas of my life that i wish were different- usually i decide not to post anything at that point to avoid the appearance of one who only posts for that reason. One thing you might not know is that i care a lot about what other people think of me.

Tonight i noticed a friends gchat status that stated “is going to write. really, she is.” Instead of aimlessly wondering the roads of the world wide web i decided writing a new post sounded like a good idea and much more productive than looking through a fb photo album for the third time. So here i am, writing for the first time in two months, determined not to write about all the reasons heaven will be a better place than this world- instead of the things i am thankful for in this life.

First off, I am so thankful for Jesus; his strength; his compassion; his suffering; his sacrifice. When i think about how much He gave i feel a conglomerate of feelings. -He gave more than just his life, He gave his dignity, all of himself physically, mentally, and spiritually so we could live eternally. Can you imagine what it took to endure the torture He went through? Would you allow yourself to be captured knowing that you would undergo excruciating almost unbearable pain, and then have the faith that your sacrifice is worth it all? Jesus did. For that i am thankful.- I feel loved. I feel great full. I feel undeserving. But most of all i feel a joy in knowing that one day the things of this world will be completely insignificant, sins will be forgotten, because in Jesus we are given a life beyond this one.

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