It’s 10:20 and  i’m  still at school. i guess this is the way it’s going to be for the rest of the week. hmmmphh.

You all better come and watch us in Thoroughly Modern Millie this thursday, friday, and saturday at 8:00 (sorry if i told you 8:30) We’re all working really hard

that might motivate me a little; push me out of this state of fatigue and dissatisfaction. i love walking outside and feeling warm.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
its the city I live in, the city of angels
Lonely as i am, together we cry

I drive on her streets cause she’s my companion
I walk through her hills cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy
I never worry, now that is a lie

I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way, yea yea yea

- Red Hot Chili Peppers

sometimes, I’ll be sitting-
in class, at home, in public,
and all the while i’m absorbing whats going on around me,
it gives me this sad, sick feeling in my stomach.
why do some people act the way they do,
do the things they do,
say the things they say?

sometimes, this world is so frustrating.
sometimes i don’t know how to act towards people.
i try to set a good example but i realize
sometimes in acting cold, harsh, or standoffish
towards those around me who act sinfully,
i’m not setting a good Christian example-
i’m not being a good person.
because i’m not perfect, i sin too.
no one is perfect.

so i’m praying that i reach out to these people.
sometimes i need HIS help.
those who i often develop negative feelings towards,
i pray i love them even more now.
i think writing this out will help me do so.
sometimes they don’t know that i’m bothered by their actions,
sometimes they do notice it but don’t know why.

sometimes i want to tell them why.
i want to tell them about HIM.
His glory, His love, His sacrifice.
i want them to know, i want them to be saved.

******************

when i learn about our history,
i see how ugly humans can be.
i don’t even see how it’s possible for someone to possess enough hate
to kill another, simply based on the notion that they posses some inferior quality.
antisemitism is horrible.
i can’t imagine what it would have been like to be living during WWII.

everyone knows of the atrocities committed during this dark time,
but actually watching documentaries and movies based on the lives of some of the people who were persecuted,
you seem to gain a who new realization of the level horror these people experienced.
it really touches you on a personal level.
somethings you see are really unimaginable.
i hope these people found peace.

i’m so glad that someday, I won’t have to worry about any of this.

the knowledge that someday i will be with HIM, reminds me that everything will be okay.

Here are a few films and documentaries i’ve watched in school over the last few weeks:

 two great films (based on true events) that i watched in la classe de Francais this semester: Au Revoir Les Enfants  and Le Chambon:La Colline Aux Mille Enfants,

the documentary behind Le Chambon, Weapons of the Spirit, which i only had the chance to watch 20 minutes of.

 unfortunately this post is a lot more rushed and undetailed than it deserves to be… but i just have to write about it tonight

Tonight something unexpected and wonderful happened. I picked up the phone around 9:00 and instantly recognized the voice on the other end as my Aunt Sue’s (from Tennessee.) At first she thought i was my mom, but realized after i asked her how she was doing that i wasn’t her sister and said,”I bet this is Lexi, you sound so grown up…” haha seems like that’s something relatives always say to you She sounded a bit down from the tone of her voice, but i knew the reason why…

It had been a while since i had talked to her so we discussed the usual: hows school, hows your mom, what have you been up to lately, and you know things like that… it was nice to share with her what’s been going on in my life, and find out how everything had been going down in good ol’ tennessee.

Then upon mention of CFC, her whole tone changed and our conversation seemed to take on a brand new meaning. She seemed so eager to hear about this church and my involvement with it and i was more than happy to tell her I think she almost cried when i told her i was saved, she was that excited… I told her how wonderful the church was, how everyone is so charismatic, and i just had to mention Lydel. She seemed so ecstatic to hear all of it. Knowing that i was saved and hearing about our church and community here seemed to raise her spirits tremendously. She could barely wait to tell me about her salvation story… it was very inspiring. I’m so glad to have talked to her. i learned a few things about her that i hadn’t known before. I hope i get to spend more time with her in the future than i have in the past… I can’t say that i know her very well… One thing i do know is that she is an amazing woman and i love her.