Grace is something i really need to give in my life right now… coincidentally this was one of the subjects Pastor Rick based his sermon on this morning. Looking at my reactions over the past few months towards unsaved and saved friends and especially family i’ve noted many situations in which i should have been more gracious. Somehow i think my pride ties into this lack of grace: I pretty much see the way i think things should be and the way that they really are. And I know i can’t possibly always have the accurate vision for life. Instead of approaching the situation graciously I’m starting to realize i really assert myself to harshly and develop negative feelings towards the person and their alleged fault, bad habit, or the flawed character trait i’ve managed to pick out. There have been a number of times i’ve wished that i could push that “fire from heaven button” mentioned in the sermon this morning Instead of reprimanding the person, or feeling negatively towards them i know should be gracious, work on edifying their positive values, and work out the situation in a more positive way at a later time if it’s really something monumental. Bottom line, these people need my grace just as much as the love that i have for them. I just need to work on the grace part.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things… love never fails.”

Sunday after church I rode to Cortland Carina, Julia and Jamie. Along the way we stopped at a Starbucks to meet an old friend of theirs and i got my first caramel mocchiato in months, Yum! Carina even got a free extra grande, double shot, white chocolate latte the employees just happened to make accidentally ooops. not that she really needed it after drinking the coffee she ordered So we stayed there for a bit then hit the road again (with the latest tunes of course .

So our next stop was at a little gas station off the Mexico exit… hmmmm. i don’t really feel like talking about that experience with too much detail. Let’s just say it’s not a good sign when you hear Julia shouting in distress from the bathroom that your waiting to use,”It’s okay Lexi, We’re Not Going To Die!,” and “DON’T LOOK DOWN, JUST DON”T LOOK DOWN!” I think the words unhygienic and traumatizing were mentioned more than a few times after we left that gas station. Neither Julia nor I touched anything unless we were forced to until we got to the Carousel and washed our hands. To top it all off, the owner (who was from India) was a little too eager to find out where Julia lived (creepy stalker.) Okay note to self, NEVER use gas station restrooms owned by creepy indians

Yeah, our next stop was the Carousel Mall. It’s horrible to go to a mall when you can’t spend any money, especially when you have your parents debit card. so tempting. Luckily we spend more time eating and talking in the food court than shopping. Somehow Carina managed to buy a few things from Gap just minutes before the mall closed… she’s good like that.

Oh man, we finally made it to Cortland. Just not before a huge tractor trailer truck “drifted” a little too far into our lane. It was so nice to see all of her family again. We even got to meet a few members more this time! one of the best parts, other than the wedding it’s self and spending time with everyone there, was probably the food… there was a lot of it, and it was all so good that’s a description to make your mouth water, i know just take my word for it.

Unlike Christmas, there were no Stackers, fooseball, Mario, or 90’s trivial pursuit, and jason wasn’t there ( :[ )… instead we relaxed and talked about carina’s salon and julia’s upcoming guitar competition while munching on some of the best cookies i’ve had. this was almost perfect if you ask me, i know by that point i was exhausted. a little later we went back to the hotel and had a good nights rest. This time there were not annoying fire alarms

The next day was the wedding, but it wasn’t one of those hustle and bustle weddings where everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Instead everyone was calm and relaxed… it’s probably the only wedding i’ll go to where every one wears jeans, yet keeps it classy. “Aunt Judy” looked so lovely in her white tailored blazer with her hair all done up by Carina. it was a beautiful wedding. i even teared up a bit; it was the best, first wedding i’ve been to.

On the way home we stopped at the Carousel again. I had the greatest notion to try on matching Justin-Timberlake-hats-and-sunglasses with Julia when we first walked in… and i found the cutest strapless patchwork dress! i’ll have to link to it someother time i’m getting tired from all this blogging

School starts back up Monday, which means it’s back to the same old bleach white classrooms, seemingly-never-ending-yet-realistically-forty-minute class periods, and the many aggravating classmates that leave one with feelings of exhaust and discontent by the time the dismissal bell rings at 2:08. That’s life. However, to recap this past weekend is what makes this life worth while.

Friday Night:
wow. so that was just a week ago. There was the usually Friday Night Meeting at Julia’s. After failing to attend for one in a while, i promised myself that i was going this week, all social events aside. Towards the end of the meeting it was suggested that those who felt a calling into the missions field receive prayer. Unlike my usual timid inclination to remain seated, i felt that i should come forth and receive prayer along with the others interested in mission work. The experience was truly uplifting and much more enlightening than i expected. I don’t know why i’m so intimidated to receive prayer more often. It’s amazing that people see characteristics and potential in you that you are unaware of yourself… that night i was blessed by two friends who shared some of this with me.
After the meeting we were all entertained with talk of leg hair, facial hair, and bodily functions. The many animated stories on these subjects, depicted by none other than Austin Dale, kept us laughing until our stomachs hurt. His sounds effects and expressions when describing these were priceless…

to be continued

right now i’m sitting in the guidance office, in a rather comfortable roller chair, waiting for the fitness center to open. i’ve been at school now from 7 30 this morning… and this is where i’ll be spending much of my time over the next month. normally i would not be excited about staying at school for this peroid but right now it’s not too bad. there are a few reasons for this, however the most exciting and motivating one is Play Practice!!

Today was our first official tap lesson; well we have had a few unofficial lessons prior to this, but to me this was the first in which i learned a substantial tap sequence and actually got to wear tap schoes! It goes: shuffle, shuffle, shuffle-toe-hop, shuffle shuffle shuffle-toe-hop, heel flop, heel flop, double time: <heel flop, heel flop, heel flop, heel flop,> stomp, hop… i think you get the picture haha.

it’s such hard work, especially when you start out learning in socks. They get all dirty and the balls of your feet and big toe start to hurt, plus there is a substantial difference between the traction of a sock and that of a tap shoe. What makes it worse is, once you put the shoes on you know the basic technique, however it takes a lot of tweaking to get the right sounds out of the shoes that you didnt have to worry about making with socks. And you have to be careful not to over step and fall on your face. haha. Then, there’s learning the individual steps, which sometimes decreases the precision of your technique. After you’ve got those down, you string them altogether and attempt to complete them faster and faster. You should hear how fast the cast taps in the actual production, it’s crazy!

i can’t wait to have ability to tap at that speed… i have a feeling that this year’s production will be absolutely invigorating for both those participating and those watching alike

So lately i haven’t really been able to figure out what to write on here. Yes, i could write about Play, St.Lawrence Games, and of course School. That all seems a bit meaningless to me though. There are so many thoughts running through my head at any given point during the day and i think to myself “i should share this with someone.” However, it always seems as though all of those thoughts fall apart or there are too many things going on around me and distracting me from writing when i actually sit down to write. I can’t seem to formulate my thoughts logically. They all become scattered and mixed, like jar of marbles emptied onto the floor. It’s even harder when i’m trying to share this with someone in person because i can’t go back and edit anything.

Sometimes i have so many things i want to share, i just have a hard time formulating what i’m feeling and thinking into sentences that others will be able to understand. Part of it is that i lack the confidence to do so. (something i have been praying for recently.) I don’t know what i’m scared of, i know that no one will scream at me and tell me what i’m writing is wrong or poorly said. But i don’t feel that i have enough biblical knowledge and spiritual experience to back up what i want to say.

I really want to start writing and speaking my faith and testimonies. I find it so inspiring to read others’ posts and hear them speak out. It’s also neat when i read one that i can really relate to. When i read your posts i often feel what you’ve written illustrates what i’ve been thinking. . I then ask myself, “why couldn’t i have posted on it?” It’s laid out so clearly right in front of me, making perfect sense. “This is what iis what i’ve been contemplating for days.” It’s like i need my thoughts to be confirmed, before i know for sure that what i’m feeling is right.

I’m very insecure about sharing anything spiritual in front of people. Even when it’s a simple prayer request, i can’t seem to speak up. I have had opportunities to receive prayer and inform others of people who i would like everyone to pray for. The thought of doing it runs through my head, over and over again, and somehow that’s as far as it gets. I feel like what i’m thinking about asking for prayer for is inferior to what others are asking for even though i know the manifestation of that idea is simply unreasonable.
I have amazing and encouraging friends, so this shouldn’t be hard for me. But for some reason it is. I suppose it’s just one of those things i’m going to have to put some more time and effort into… hopefully i’ll be able to start writing more diligently and share what is truely on my heart.